First, I would like to thank L33t5k33t3r or l0nlyT33n or whatever his nick was for hacking my site.  It’s always impressive when you can break someone’s nonsecure website and screw around with their hobby.  You reminded me of an old joke:

Jesus and Satan were arguing as to who was the better computer programmer.  The argument got so heated that God stepped in and decided to settle things with a little competition.  “I will give you each a program to write.  After three hours, whichever of you has the most done will be consider the greatest programmer of all times.”  Jesus and Satan took their seats and when the harp strung, they started.  With fingers flying across the keyboards, they were neck and neck.  At two hours and forty five minutes, God cut off the power.  When He restored the power, Jesus whipped in a few keystrokes and finished just as the three-hour harp chimed.  Satan was furious.  He screammed, “Jesus cheated!  There’s no way he rewrote that entire program in just that few minutes!”  To which God replied, “No.  Jesus saves.”

I haven’t been updating or backing up my site as I should have been, and I would like to thank you for reminding me to do so.

I have seriously been neglecting my figure drawing. I know this because my manequin has been giving me attitude lately. I constantly think, “hey, that would make a cool drawing” and begin gathering resources, but I just haven’t made the time to get to it. As a matter of fact, I don’t think I’ve even touched my pencils in two weeks. I spend more time thinking about new tools I want, or classes I want to attend, or websites I might subscribe to for models. That seems to be as far as I ever get lately. Like a writer with a brand new ream of paper and a fresh ribbon in his typewriter*, I’ve run out of excuses but am lacking in motivation and inspiration. Tonight, I was considering doing some figure drawing. I twisted and pulled the little wooden figurine into poses I thought I might like to draw. Somehow, every time I stopped, his arms were crossed and he seemed to be glaring at me. I think this weekend I will have spend some time gruntling my manequin.

*For those of you born after 1980, a typewriter is a kind of “crash-proof” word processor

I have had dental problems my whole life. This is one of those compounding problems because the more problems you have, the more problems you get. Let me ’splain. You see, when you’re riddled with gum disease and cavities, it hurts to brush and you learn to fear the dentist. This encourages neglect which of course causes gum disease, cavities and painful trips to the dentist. Joseph Heller would be proud.


Today, in my continuing effort to right a lifetime wrong, I had my full lower left jaw worked on. A root canal, a new tooth face, and several crowns later, I can once again take a breath through my mouth and not wince in pain. This comes in handy during allergy season in Oklahoma.

This time, I was smart. I went for the nitrous. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, laughing gas makes all the difference in the world. Before, not only would my mouth be sore, but my entire body would ache from being so tense. Today, I was so relaxed I almost enjoyed it.


The problem with being that relaxed during a dental procedure is that you forget someone is using a power drill in one of your more delicate spots. You see, as I was laying there, some of my favorite songs were playing on the local radio station lilting through the office. I had sense enough to not try to sing. I put forth an amazing effort to not sing along with the radio. When Dawn, the dental assistant, began singing, however, I lost it and started giggling. The Doc was very patient with me and simply asked me to keep still. Feeling like a teenager who had just been busted for being drunk, I of course giggled some more. That’s when Born To Be Wild came on the radio. Those of you keeping up with this blog will know that I am a biker (sort of). One simply cannot sit still to Steppenwolf, especially a 36 year old, drunken, giggling teenager. Apparently, when you tap your foot, it is connected to your head. When your head wiggles while a dentist is using a precision drill on your teeth, it causes the drill to slip. When the drill slips it grabs things and throws them across the room. Yes, I was quickly brought to reality when the cotton swab started flipping around at about a million RPMs. Again with a deep sigh, the Doc calmly asked me to open wide and hold still for him. The lesson here is that one should not dance in the dentist’s chair.

Tonight, my wife was watching one of her favorite shows, Rescue Me. We both enjoy Dennis Leary’s humor, and this show is a lot of fun. Leary’s character has been juggling several different women with an estranged wife and a newborn at home. This is one aspect of the show I just can’t enjoy. I know we are supposed to see his character with all of his ugly warts exposed, but I tire easily of this sort of prattle. She likes Desperate Housewives too. Shows where cheating spouses are a central theme just annoy me. I find it difficult to enjoy anything else the show has to offer.

I may be wired differently than most men. Within a few minutes of meeting someone, especially women, I find some way to bring up my wife in the conversation. It’s completely subconscious. A friend of mine once took me to a club where we met several VERY attractive women. This one particular young lady had taken an interest in me and within five minutes I was telling her all about my beautiful young bride. I am completely uncomfortable in situations like that.

Right after Lindsay Lohan came of legal age, and before she became anorexic, I was having this wonderful dream. I was at a party and she was there. She was dressed in a green satin soccer uniform, and she was gorgeous. In my dream, we talked and laughed. We went outside and kicked a soccer ball around, and fell in the soft grass laughing. She rolled over and leaned in to kiss me. I put my finger on her lips and said, “I can’t, hon, I’m married.”

IN MY OWN DREAM!
What kind of fair is that?

Walking up the driveway this evening I found this beauty emerging from his skin and drying his wings. Once every 2-3 years, this particular brood of cicada surfaces to moult their skins and mate for two weeks. Then they die. Science geek that I am, I watched him for 15-20 minutes before I had the wherewithal to go and get a camera. He’ll spend the next two weeks hopping from tree to tree advertising with that long chirp that cicadas are famous for. It translates roughly into, “Here I am ladies! Come and get it!” Kind of how I met my wife. He’s a little early, so I hope he finds a mate.