Dancing With The Dentist

I have had dental problems my whole life. This is one of those compounding problems because the more problems you have, the more problems you get. Let me ’splain. You see, when you’re riddled with gum disease and cavities, it hurts to brush and you learn to fear the dentist. This encourages neglect which of course causes gum disease, cavities and painful trips to the dentist. Joseph Heller would be proud.

Today, in my continuing effort to right a lifetime wrong, I had my full lower left jaw worked on. A root canal, a new tooth face, and several crowns later, I can once again take a breath through my mouth and not wince in pain. This comes in handy during allergy season in Oklahoma.

This time, I was smart. I went for the nitrous. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, laughing gas makes all the difference in the world. Before, not only would my mouth be sore, but my entire body would ache from being so tense. Today, I was so relaxed I almost enjoyed it.

The problem with being that relaxed during a dental procedure is that you forget someone is using a power drill in one of your more delicate spots. You see, as I was laying there, some of my favorite songs were playing on the local radio station lilting through the office. I had sense enough to not try to sing. I put forth an amazing effort to not sing along with the radio. When Dawn, the dental assistant, began singing, however, I lost it and started giggling. The Doc was very patient with me and simply asked me to keep still. Feeling like a teenager who had just been busted for being drunk, I of course giggled some more. That’s when Born To Be Wild came on the radio. Those of you keeping up with this blog will know that I am a biker (sort of). One simply cannot sit still to Steppenwolf, especially a 36 year old, drunken, giggling teenager. Apparently, when you tap your foot, it is connected to your head. When your head wiggles while a dentist is using a precision drill on your teeth, it causes the drill to slip. When the drill slips it grabs things and throws them across the room. Yes, I was quickly brought to reality when the cotton swab started flipping around at about a million RPMs. Again with a deep sigh, the Doc calmly asked me to open wide and hold still for him. The lesson here is that one should not dance in the dentist’s chair.

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