Originally posted at Dancarlin.com

Allow me to take the opportunity to introduce myself. Raised as a country hick redneck, I have farmed cattle and hogs, hauled hay, and raised and sold watermelons. Many a fond memory involves dropping a watermelon in the stream first thing in the morning, so it would be nice and cool at the end of a very hard day.The school I went to had ±500 students K-12. It was right across the street from the 1st Baptist Church. Nobody who worked for the school was not a prominent member of said church. If you were late to school because you had a flat tire, it was inexcusable. If you were late to school because the morning prayer meeting ran long, you were exalted.This had such an impact on me, that at one time I considered becoming a minister. I studied and prayed daily that I would better be able to serve God in this capacity.
I began stumbling when it came to evolution. I began asking questions of my youth minister. I was told that I was being blasphemous. It didn’t take much longer for me to realize that I did not agree with the Baptist philosophy. I began looking for another church.
Every Christian church I found held parts of the bible as absolute fact and other parts as “parable”. The truly interesting thing was that the different churches chose completely different parts to hold infallible. It was this infallibility that bothered me. I began looking at other religions of the world. The more religion I studied, the more I came to regard it all as “Fire Worship”.
Today, I consider myself a Christian Athiest. I try to live my life in accordance with the tenets of the legend of the Christ, but I don’t believe in anything mystical. I have a deep respect for those that do. But I admit that I get a cheap thrill out of teasing people when their actions disagree with their professed religion, for instance, when the Baptists go out drinking and dancing on Saturday night. I believe Jimmy Buffet said, “There’s a thin line between Saturday night and Sunday morning.”

My third and final wife (if this doesn’t work out, I’m switching to men) is a Catholic school teacher. I have two older children (17 and 15) and an 3 year old daughter. We use birth control to ensure that we only have planned children. My wife’s logic is that she can’t take the pill because she’s Catholic. It’s ok for me to use a condom, however, because I am protestant.

I’m 37. I’ve been a member of Mensa since I was 13. I served in Desert Storm and returned to earn a B.S. in Biology. I started my own web development company and got out of that when Microsoft added the “save as HTML” feature to MS Word. I worked as a welder and over the last five years have worked my way into sales and then into production management.

For years now if have considered going into radio. Recently I picked up on the idea of podcasting and my research into that has lead me here. I like Dan’s show. It’s along the same lines as the kind of show I have in mind doing.

Politically, I am officially a republican. I believe that support of the infrastructure will enhance personal security and economy. I want as little government as we can get away with. Where the leaders go wrong with me is when they write laws about gay marriage, abortion and other such things. What you do with your life is between you and your god.

I believe majority rule is almost always wrong. Majority rule is what got an innocent man nailed to a tree for saying we should be nicer to each other. In this country, the vast majority of people live on a coast in a city riddled with gun related crime. Gun control laws make perfect sense to them. They have never had to use one to stop feral dogs from killing their calves. The idea that the police are TWO HOURS away is foreign to them. While it may take police two hours to respond to a crime, the concept that physical distance is also a consideration is elusive. When your wife and teenage daughter are home alone in that situation, gun control doesn’t make as much sense. Illegal search and seizure is another concept that majority rule gets wrong. The idea is that if you don’t have anything to hide, you shouldn’t fear it. The problem there is that many things that are not illegal are considered immoral by the majority and NOBODY wants their privacy invaded. Some towns have “community standards” morality laws. What’s that about?

I am against welfare. Give a man a fish and he eats for a day, but give him a check based on the number of children in his house, and he will have many more kids. The programs based on handouts should be relegated back to the communities and charitable organizations. I believe that the best thing you could do for public education would be to allow me as a parent to decide where my children should go to school. A voucher is not a violation of Church and State if it’s the parent that chooses and not the govt.

Don’t even get me started on immigration. That post would be at least as long as this one all by itself.

People that know me irl think of me as the stoic one. Yes, I always crack wise and my wife believes that I can’t go more than 2 minutes without making a joke of some kind. But for the most part, I don’t show a whole lot of extreme emotion. Like the old straight men in the early comedies, I only have the one mood, and it’s generally a good one.

That said, I don’t see a need for people making out in the public square. I don’t agree with parade participants wearing a leather thongs, feathers and stiletto heels to make a political statement about their lifestyle. I love it when my wife wears them, and on occasion, they can be quite comfortable, but that is not for main street America. We have to explain to our children earlier and earlier about sex and the dangers of sex. The result is that pregnancies and STDs are happening earlier and earlier. I have taught my kids from the first time they asked about sex and where babies come from that they shouldn’t be having sex if they are not responsible enough to have a baby. I also explain to them that when the time comes that they really feel they must have sex, use protection. As much as I don’t want them to have sex until they are adults, I don’t think they ought to die for it.

I don’t agree with using curse words just for shock value or simply as part of daily conversation. There’s no need for it most of the time. I don’t agree with sitcoms and radio stations broadcasting inappropriate language. It’s frustrating to me when a five year old curses because that’s how they talk on The Sopranos, and Dad never misses an episode. However, there are times that an exclamatory is needed and “Darn” just won’t express the proper tone of dismay. They are especially good for certain types of jokes and some very private moments. Again, I have taught my kids that there are no such things as “bad” words, just an appropriate time and place for them. Until you are sure when that is, don’t use them.

I believe in opening doors for others, and using my manners. “Please” and “Thank you” are the second and third most powerful phrases in the universe. “I love you” is still number one, and “I’m sorry” is a dismal fourth.

I believe in allowing others to have and express their own opinions, even if they differ from mine. I appreciate it when others make an effort to respect mine as well.

These are the basis for manners and respect. These really have nothing to do with a god, hellfire, or heaven. They have to do with Karma, but not the mystical type. When you are respectful of others, others will respect you.
That is socially conservative. Whom you choose to love, and whatever lifestyle you choose to live, have very little to do with it, as far as I’m concerned.