Tonight, my wife was watching one of her favorite shows, Rescue Me. We both enjoy Dennis Leary’s humor, and this show is a lot of fun. Leary’s character has been juggling several different women with an estranged wife and a newborn at home. This is one aspect of the show I just can’t enjoy. I know we are supposed to see his character with all of his ugly warts exposed, but I tire easily of this sort of prattle. She likes Desperate Housewives too. Shows where cheating spouses are a central theme just annoy me. I find it difficult to enjoy anything else the show has to offer.

I may be wired differently than most men. Within a few minutes of meeting someone, especially women, I find some way to bring up my wife in the conversation. It’s completely subconscious. A friend of mine once took me to a club where we met several VERY attractive women. This one particular young lady had taken an interest in me and within five minutes I was telling her all about my beautiful young bride. I am completely uncomfortable in situations like that.

Right after Lindsay Lohan came of legal age, and before she became anorexic, I was having this wonderful dream. I was at a party and she was there. She was dressed in a green satin soccer uniform, and she was gorgeous. In my dream, we talked and laughed. We went outside and kicked a soccer ball around, and fell in the soft grass laughing. She rolled over and leaned in to kiss me. I put my finger on her lips and said, “I can’t, hon, I’m married.”

IN MY OWN DREAM!
What kind of fair is that?